So You’ve Been Doxxed: Now What?

A Guide for Kinksters, Sex Workers, and Anyone Who Just Wanted to Vibe Online in Peace

Melody Haze

You were just minding your own business, when some miserable little gremlin (maybe an ex, an angry client, or just an internet rando with too much time on their hands) decides to doxx you.

Doxxing - the act of exposing someone’s private information online without their consent, can feel like a gut punch. Your real name, address, workplace, or even your social media accounts are suddenly out in the open. For kinksters and sex workers the stakes can be even higher - outing can jeopardise jobs, relationships, and personal safety.

So, what now? Take a deep breath. Here’s how to reclaim your privacy, security, and peace of mind.

Step 1: Assess the Damage

Before full panic mode sets in (easier said than done, I know), figure out exactly what’s been leaked and where.

✅ Search yourself – Use Google, DuckDuckGo, and social media searches. Look up your real name, usernames, phone numbers, and email addresses to see what’s out there.

✅ Check data breach sites – Websites like Have I Been Pwned can tell you if your email and passwords were part of a hack.

✅ Look for threats – If the doxxing includes harassment or threats, screenshot everything and report it. Save comments, messages, and profiles, anything that might help identify the person behind it.

✅ Review your social media – If you use a pseudonym, make sure you haven’t accidentally linked it to your real-life identity. For example, is your ‘anonymous’ account tied to an email address with your real name?

Knowing what’s out there will help you decide what to tackle first.

Step 2: Lock Down Your Accounts

If your personal details are now public, it’s time to go full bunker mode.

🔒 Change all your passwords – Yes, all of them. I know you’ve been using that one password since 2008, but now’s the time to switch things up. Use a password manager if needed.

🔒 Set up Two-Factor Authentication (2FA) – This adds an extra security layer to stop anyone from logging into your accounts, even if they have your password.

🔒 Check your social media privacy settings – Lock down who can see your posts, friends list, and personal details. Be mindful of innocuous posts that reveal too much. “My barista knows my coffee order by heart!” + selfie with store logo = way too much information for a stalker.

🔒 Delete or deactivate unused accounts – Old Reddit usernames, outdated LinkedIn profiles, inactive email addresses.

Step 3: Get the Info Removed

Doxxing is a violation of privacy, and in Australia there are legal protections:

✅ eSafety Commissioner (Online Safety Act 2021) – The eSafety Office can compel platforms to remove serious cyber abuse.

✅ Report to Police – If threats or stalking are involved, file a cybercrime report via ReportCyber or call 131 444 (non-emergency line).

✅ Defamation Laws – If false claims are attached to the doxxing, you may need to seek legal advice.

How to Get Posts Taken Down

📝 Social Media Platforms – Report the content under harassment, privacy violations, or non-consensual info sharing.

📝 Google Removal Requests – If your personal details appear in search results, submit a removal request here.

📝 Website Takedown Requests – If your info is on an independent site, use Whois Lookup to find the hosting provider and send a removal request.

📝 Escalate to eSafety – If platforms refuse to act, take it up with eSafety.gov.au.

Doxxing is a crime in many cases, and if the perpetrator can be identified, they could face legal consequences.

Step 4: Protect Yourself Going Forward

Here’s how to help prevent it from happening again:

✔️ Separate your identities – Different emails, usernames, and social media accounts for vanilla life vs. kink/work.

✔️ Use a PO Box – Never share your home address for business purposes.

✔️ Check your digital footprint regularly – Google yourself often and remove anything risky.

✔️ Set up Google Alerts – Get notified if your name appears online.

✔️ Be mindful of what you post – Avoid sharing anything that connects your real life to your online persona.

Step 5: Dealing with the Emotional Fallout

Doxxing isn’t just a privacy issue, it’s a power move. Someone tried to take control away from you, and it's normal to feel a bit off.

You might feel:

😰 Exposed – Like your life is suddenly an open book.

🤯 Paranoid – Wondering who else knows and what they’ll do.

😡 Angry – Because this isn’t fair, and it never should have happened.

💔 Helpless – But here’s the truth: you are NOT powerless.

How to Cope:

💬 Lean on your community – Talk to friends & family for support

🧠 Seek therapy – If you’re finding it challenging to deal with, see a professional

📴 Take a social media break – Stepping away for a bit can help reset

⚡ Turn anger into action – Advocate for better online safety, educate others, and reclaim your power!

What’s your experience?

Have you dealt with doxxing? Drop a comment below and share how you managed it.